Joyride
by RedEyedWarrior
Summary: Chris, Courtney, Chef and Duncan are going on a double date. Let's just say that the date did not turn out as they had planned. Contains Chrisney and Chefcan.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama.**

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"GET OUT AND STAY OUT!" barked an angry manager as he kicked four customers out of his restaurant. He retreated back into the restaurant and slammed the door shut. Courtney stood up and glared at Chris, Chef and Duncan.

"This is so humiliating!" she scolded them. "Why couldn't you guys behave yourselves?!"

"Relax, it's cool," Duncan rolled his eyes. "It's just one restaurant."

"It was a **fancy** restaurant!" Courtney snapped. "My family goes there lots of times and it is where my father's birthday is planned to be celebrated in! Now we're going to have to change plans because I'm banned from there for life!"

"Wow, you're really taking this harder than the other three times you and I got kicked out of a restaurant," Chris commented.

"And every time it was because you kept slapping the waiters' asses and passing off racially, sexually or religiously sensitive jokes!" Courtney glared at Chris. "Tell me again: why do I still put up with a dick-bag like you?" she asked rhetorically.

"Because you love me," Chris smirked.

Courtney blushed. "Yeah… well..."

"And it was kinda hot seeing you mercilessly beat the shit out of a family with three young children at the table next to ours," Chris added.

"It's not my fault those fucking bastards were screaming, holding tantrums and throwing things around, and that their retarded parents wouldn't stop them!" Courtney protested. "At least I never assaulted a staff member," she added. Duncan rolled his eyes at this.

"So what now?" Chef interjected. "We've been kicked out before the starters."

"We could go to Burger King or Pizza Hut," Duncan suggested.

"Absolutely not! There will be asshole kids with soccer parents and scumbags in fast food places at this hour of the night," Courtney crossed her arms. "I just want to get a takeaway and then go home."

"Well I'm afraid you'll have to wait. The limo won't be here for another 90 minutes at the earliest," Chef pointed out.

"Well there is no way we're eating at a fast food joint," Courtney glared.

"Not all fast food joints are swarming with kids," said Duncan. "You just have to find the right joint. As for scumbags, well, they'd be frightened by you and Chef."

"Fine," Courtney sighed.

"Do you know any joint?" Chris asked.

"Yeah, I know a few at the other side of the city," said Duncan.

"We might want to call a cab, then," said Chris. "I'm too lazy to walk, and Courtney is too lazy to carry me."

"Har, har," Courtney rolled her eyes.

"Screw that, we're going joyriding," said Duncan, as he went up to an abandoned car that was conveniently parked nearby. He opened the door, hopped in and hotwired it. Chef immediately called shotgun.

"Are you crazy?!" Courtney shrieked at the couple. "This is a sure-fire way to get us arrested."

"A ride's a ride," Chris shrugged, getting into the back side. Sighing in defeat, Courtney climbed in after him. After everyone had their seatbelts fastened, Duncan floored it.

"We're going way too fast!" Courtney shouted.

"That's the point!" Duncan replied. "Chef, put on some music!" Chef turned on the radio. Heavy metal music was blasting from the speakers.

"_Buch dich!"_ the radio blared.

"What kinda music is that?!" Courtney demanded.

"Good music, whiney girl," Chef laughed. "You haven't lived until you've listened to some Rammstein.

"_BUCH DICH!"_

"Maybe you and I should imitate the lyrics tonight," Chris winked at Courtney.

"PERVE!" Courtney slapped Chris, but she was blushing and secretly turned on by what Chris said.

"C'mon now, Duncan and Chef are getting into it right now," Chris laughed. He pointed to Chef, who had his head face-down on Duncan's lap.

Courtney groaned. "Those idiots are going to get us killed," she rolled her eyes.

"Well in that case, we should make the most of now," Chris smirked, fondling Courtney's hair. Courtney did not resist Chris's advances. In fact, she climbed on top of Chris and said:

"This better be pleasurable." Then they got right down to business.

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Against all odds, Duncan, Chef, Chris and Courtney di not sustain any injuries. In fact, the car didn't even crash. Duncan just randomly stopped at a parking space while Chef was massaging his head with his teeth. Nevertheless, Duncan still managed to run over seventeen people. Not that anyone in the car noticed. Not only was Duncan too busy having Chef on top of him humping his leg, Chris was too busy giving an Australian kiss to Courtney, who was too busy enjoying it.

They got out of the car and went to Burger King after they straightened their clothes and mopped off any traces of sweat and cum. They sat down to eat their meals. Nevertheless, Chris and Chef could not help themselves and so they sexually harassed anyone who walked by them. Naturally, Duncan ended up copying them and that turned Chef on, while Courtney acted disgusted and annoyed (though secretly, she did found it a turn on whenever Chris objectified other people).

All of a sudden, Scott burst into Burger King. His eyes were bloodshot with rage. "THERE YOU ARE, YOU FUCKING ARSEHOLES!" he roared.

"What is going on?!" Courtney demanded.

"YOU JERKWADS STOLE MY CAR!" Scott snarled. "YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS!"

"Wait, how did you find out?!" Duncan demanded to know.

"There is evidence!" Scott glared. "I know it was you! I've shifted all of you during All-Stars!"

"Wait… you cheated on Chris and I while I was using you just to get further in the game and while we were using you as a dildo?!" Courtney scowled.

"Well it doesn't matter, does it?" Scott scoffed. "Cos I'm gonna KILL ALL OF YOU!" But before he could lunge for the two couples, he found himself restrained and cuffed by a cop.

"Scott, you are under arrest for seventeen counts of murder via hit and run," the cop informed him.

"WHAT?!" Scott shrieked. He paused. "What… that explains the blood and guts on the front wheels, but I WASN'T DRIVING WHEN THAT HAPPENED!" he protested.

"Your car, your responsibility, young man!" the cop cut him off. "Let's go!" He took Scott away. Chis, Courtney, Duncan and Chef sighed in relief. They were still oblivious of the hit and runs Duncan accidentally caused, but they were just glad they got away with joyriding. They called a taxi home and decided that they should do this again sometime.

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**This story was requested by I'll Cover Angel and Collins and The Normal Nerd. I hope you two liked it!**


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